This is me
by KampfrauLeiliel
Summary: My OC girl with Kenpachi
1. Chapter 1

I am Rai. Atleast, that's who I am now. I was 27 when I returned to Japan, after 7 years in europe. My father was very fond of telling me how dangerous it was for me abroad, but the same day I set foot in Japan again I was run over. The truck was large and I guess I didn't live long enough to have a memory of it. When I sat there, thinking about what to do, a man in wierd clothes appeared beside me. I think his name was Sunshui, but it could have been something completely different and he sent me to Soul Society. Me, myself, had thought I'd go straight to hell. Seems that you can get away with quiet a bit. Anyhow, I almost ended up in hell, I arrived in the outmost part of Rukongai, the 80th district named Zaraki on a godforgotten rain showered day. To my big surprised I found a pair of armguards attached to me as I came to. They were, as I later learned, zanpaktous. I battled my way into the 78th district and settled there. I lived alone and when I ran into a couple of shinigamis, they took me with them to the academy and it felt hopelessly crowded. There were people wherever I turned. The teachers noticed me since I was blessed by twin zanpaktous, the third pair ever, and apparantly it was the only sound zanpaktous ever heard of. One of them took in all the sounds around it, storing it, and then it could replay them as music and the other did the same, but with voices. The sound created could form my reiatsu and shape it into shields

It was pretty much decided to what squad I was going to be assigned to when I graduated. I ended up in the 12th squad, the research squad, under Kurotsuchi Mayuri. My zanpaktous were research objects, since they were so rare both in ability and appearance and I got to test and train with them everyday, all day long. This constant training and communication with my zanpaktous, Sakura and Sayuri, as they are named, led they way to my bankai. It's said that to achieve bankai one have to train for tens of years, but I reached mine after 6. My bankai releases a pair of flaming wings sprouting from my back and makes my swords blaze like hellfire. I kept it a secret since I started to get bored of the 12th squad and all of Korutsuchi-taichous experiments. I was looking for a way to get reassigned to another squad and I found the ability to heal, the music Sayuri created soothed injured bodies aswell as damaged minds and it got me transferred to the 4th squad, the medical and supply relief division. I thought that I had finally found my place in life, or, well, death, but the constanct harassments of the other squads, especially the 11th, who thought that 4th squad members were no real shinigami, got on my nerves and almost daily people could hear me yell carnal curses and threats all over Seireitei. After my 20th fight or so, the taichous though it best for me to switch squad once again and moved me to the 11th squad. I was only there 1 year, but what a year that was. I got to hone my fighting skill and never ever had to keep my temper at bay. Sadly, towards the end I felt a strange force growing inside me, which I later recognized as a hollow, and I left my life in Seireitei for the real world. Urahara-san, the shopowner helped me get the thing under controll. It took 15 long years. And now I'm back!


	2. Chapter 2

Seireitei... She had not seen this place in 7 long years and she hadn't seen _him_ in 15. The wind ripped in her hair and clothes and she was feeling the bloodlust come to her. The whole place was in uproar due to the bounto invasion and it had been easy to sneak in unseen together with Ichigo and the others. She was heading towards the 11th squad's headquarters in a quick pace, she knew instinctively she would find him there.

Zaraki Kenpachi, who had just gotten back from his fight with Ichinose Maki, stared in disbelief at the person standing in the doorway. It looked like Rai, it moved like Rai and it smelled like Rai.

- Rai-chan! Yachiru leaped up into the woman's arms. Where have you been?

- Now's not the time, Yachiru, Zaraki growled, please leave!

- Ooo, Ken-chan wants to be alone with Rai-chan. She skipped out from the office and closed the door after her.

- Zaraki, Rai hissed, long time no see.

- Don't talk so much, you know it's useless.

He unsheathed his zanpaktou and attacked her.

Yachiru, who had fetched Ikkaku and Yumichika, arrived just as the ruckus settled down in the office. As they threw the door open a bloodcovered scene met them. Their taichou and the former fourth seat officer was kneeling on the floor, face towards eachother. His 2 metres against her 1½, his sword in her gut and she had one of hers in his shoulder and her free hand grabbing his throath. Zaraki's eyepatch lay thrown on the floor and they were both panting heavily, blood running from their mouths. Zaraki raises his head and the others hear him whisper a "God, I've missed you!" and then watches in horrorfilled surprise as their bloodthirsty taichou presses his lips against Rai's. After the faint kiss they both collapse in a heap on the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

They lay in beds beside eachother and Unohana-taichou had just finished healing them.

- So, Rai's back again, she said smiling her usual serene smile, I guess I better start getting used to healing them together again.

- Huh? Ikkaku spoke raising an eyebrow, you mean they've done this before?

- Well, yes. A few times a week atleast the year she was in your squad.

- Ken-chan likes Rai-chan, she always gives him good fights, Yachiru giggled.

- I know, Unohana smiled, the wounds they inflict on eachother are messy but never lethal. And to think that the people of his own squad hasn't noticed their behaviour amazes me.

- Now when you say it, Yumichika said, he always let her ride his back together with Yachiru and she was unusually often at his office hanging out.

- But to think that the taichou was in love, Ikkaku muttered, it's so unlike him.

As Rai opened her eyes she immediately recognized the ceiling of the treatment room. She had been here so many times before. She looked to her right and saw Kenpachi looking at her. They were quiet, looking at eachother and it was Kenpachi who broke the silence.

- Why did you leave?

It was the question she had wanted to avoid all this time.

- Don't get mushy Kenpachi, it doesn't suit you.

- Damnit Rai, I'm not talking to you as Kenpachi, but as your taichou and I demand an answer!

- I left to defeat my inner hollow. Happy now? She glared at him.

- I'm so looking forward to the day I kill you.

- That will never happen and you know it.

She rose from the bed, felt her bandages, decided that they were sufficient and started walking away.

- My office tonight, she heard him murmur as she left.

- I know, was her simple answer.

She walked the busy street of Seireitei and felt the blissfull anonymity of being a face amongst a lot of other faces. Few would recognize her since her appearance had changed alot while she had been away. She was on her way to the department of development and technologies and she was met by blank faces as she entered.

- Where's your taichou, she asked them.

- That would be me, a low voice from behind spoke.

She turned around and saw the never changing face of her former taichou.

- Well, if it isn't Rai, he said.

- Mayuri-sama, I'm glad I found you.

- What brings us the doubted pleasure of your visit?

- I'm here to pick up my old files, since they no longer are of use for you.

- And what if I decide not to give them to you?

- Then I'll kill you, was her cold answer.

- I really hate when you behave like you're superior to us all, but I know your sincerity with what you say and I really don't have time to play with you.

He had one of the researchers fetch the box labeled "Zaraki Rai, 11th squad's fourth seat" and handed it over.

- Look, she said amused, you even have the label updated!

- Get out of my sight, trash!

He lashed out an arm against Rai's face and to his surprise she didn't dodge and let him hit her. He looked at her in disbelief.

- See it as a last gratification. I do not tend to come back here. Ever!

She turned around and left the place where she had spent 6 years as a guineapig.


	4. Chapter 4

It was darkening outside and the words spread that Ichigo had defeated the last bounto. Rai didn't care much, she had never seen any other outcome. Soon they would have to return to the real world and Soul Society would have to start rebuilding the massive damage caused by the fighting. Rai had come back to Soul Society several times during her stay in the real world, but she planned this to be the last time. She was not welcome here with a hollow harboring in her soul.

She didn't doubt one second that Kenpachi wouldn't be at the office and she was surprised to see the place all dark and empty. She entered his office and sloushed down into his chair and decided to wait for him since he was a man who kept his promises. The chair was designed for a man twice her size and she almost disappeared in it. She would wait until morning and then go back to the real world. Rai had never been a sensitive person, but she did admit that if Kenpachi didn't show up this night, it would leave her very, vey disappointed.

Zaraki Kenpachi rushed towards his office with Yachiru clinging to his shoulder. As they arrived he sat her down.

- Yachiru, I want to be alone now. Go play with Ikkaku, ok?

- Okay, Ken-chan, will do.

He watched her run off and looked for a light in the window of his officer or any other sign of Rai being there, but found it all dark. Damn, he thought, it would be a pity if she had decided not to see him tonight, but he wouldn't be surprised if she had skipped out on him. That was how she was, unpredictable and with a mind of her own. He guessed she had something on her mind since she had actually sought him up this time. He knew she had been visiting Soul Society before, but he had never had the time to seek her out before she left again. He slid the doors open and found Rai sitting comfortable in his chair like she owned it. He walked straight over to her, took her by the collar and yanked her up so their faces was on the same level.

- Who the hell do you think you are, he snarled.

Then he realized he held her up by one hand and that she was as light as Yachiru.

- What the hell has happened to you, he continued, it feels like I'm holding a fly.

- Just lost all my muscle mass from lack of fighting, she said and tore free.

- Did you come here only to discuss my appearance, she continued, or did you want something from me?

- Cut that crap already. There's no need to show off anymore.

- I guess you're right, I just don't want to get involved again. I don't want to remember how much I like you. I just came here to say goodbye, this is my last time in Soul Society.

She looked up at him and he looked back. She walked over to him and he took her in his arms.

- If this is the last time you are here, mind playing with me again, he whispered in her ear.

She nodded and soon they were running through Seireitei's back alleys. Rai was on his back with her bankai wings burning brightly. The fire of her bankai fed on reiatsu and that meant that Kenpachi finally could let go of his restraints on his reiatsu. This was their special game and when they came back to the office both of them was exhausted and excited. Kenpachi was laughing loudly as he sat her down, but then looked at her seriously.

- Why did I ever let you go?

- Same reason that you can't make me stay. You cannot own me.

They walked over to his private house.

- Will you stay with me tonight, he asked her.

- I might aswell, she smiled at him.

She lay naked against him, her head on his massive and heavily scarred chest. They reviewed many old memories and they didn't fall asleep until well past dawn. When Kenpachi woke up he found the place Rai had laid on cold. She was long gone from his bed and from Seireitei and only a note was there to tell that she had ever been there.

" Dear Kenpachi.

You know I can't get accepted here with a hollow inside me, so I've gone back to the real world.

You should know that what we had meant something to me."

She hadn't signed it.


	5. Chapter 5

Rai once again was back in Karakura Town, on her way home. She really regretted the way it had ended with Kenpachi, that it had ended at all. She unlocked the door to her twostorie house and stepped in. It had felt big before and now, for some reason, it felt empty too. She made some tea and went out on the balconny. How had it all started?

It could have been earlier, but she thought it had began on the last night of the October carneval in Seireitei. She had been moved to the 11th squad from the 4th and had only been there a week or so. Some people still harassed her for having been in the 4th squad and tonight Ikkaku was drunk and had a go at her for not wearing the traditional shinigami uniform. She had never worn a proper uniform, so why the hell should she start now? The fight had been mostly for show off, but when Zaraki-taichou had broken it up, both of them had some nicks and bruises. She and Ikkaku had thrown angry glares at eachother the remaining of the night, but she had not understood the glances and risen eyebrows from the taichou. The night had been great with lots of food and saké and she had really enjoyed sitting with Yachiru in her lap telling stories to the little fukutaichou from her time in Europe. It was odd for anyone habited in Soul Society to have memories from their previous life, but Rai knew all in detail. In the end it had been only her, Ikkaku, Yumichika and the taichou left and when she announced she was going to bed the taichou had offered to walk her home. She had said no thank you to him, but he had followed anyhow. He thought he was unnoticed, but Rai knew he was there, yes she did. A drunk Kenpachi was as subtle as a elephant wearing pink. When she was about to open the door to her room a zanpaktou embedded itself in the wood just inches from her head. She spun around and slashed at whomever was standing behind her. It turned out to be the taichou. Her sword didn't draw blood.

- You weren't set on cutting me, he grinned at her.

- Not really no.

- Wanna have another shot?

- Nope, I want to go to bed.

- Want some company?

- Taichou! She sounded offended. Can you really just do like that?

- As long as noone knows, how can they care?

Rai shrugged at his answer and walked inside. She left the door open so he could follow if he decided he was serious or not. He decided to follow. It was dark in the room and without thinking, Rai released her bankai, using her flaming blades as lamps. Then she remembered that the taichou was there and cursed silently.

- So you can use bankai, he said, what an interesting little secret.

- I don't make a fuss of it and it's kinda handy.

She walked over to him, her eyes in level with his chest. Suddenly she was clinging to his shoulder, much like Yachiru used to.

- Hmm, she said, this is actually quiet comfy.

- No wonder Yachiru likes you, he grinned, your brains operate the same way.

Rai jumped down from his back, yawned and undid her bankai turning the room all black again. She undressed and slipped in between the bedsheets. She suddenly felt herself yanked up and found herself staring into the face of a wickedly grinning Kenpachi. His free eye glittered and so did his teeth. He had a feral air around him.

- Let's do something fun, he hissed.

He shoved his tongue into her mouth and she felt his naked chest against her. Her feet touched cloth so he had atleast not taken off his hakama. When he finally released his lips Rai was almost out of air.

- You moron, she slapped him, I have smaller lungs than you! Are you trying to smother me?

Then a game of kissing, caressing, biting and scratching began. She loved the coppery taste of blood in her mouth and she saw that it didn't leave him unaffected, judging from the bulge in his pants. At one time she had his arms locked with her legs and she started to undo his hakama belt with her free hands.

- Oh no you don't, he growled and threw her at the bed and she started wondering if he had just come here to tease her.

He pinned her down and poised his head between her legs. He started to lightly lick the inside of her thighs, slowly working his way toward the middle. He circled around her clit, carefully avoiding it and when he finally landed his tongue on it she hissed and grabbed his hair, making the bells jingle. He took her to the edge of climax a few times, but stopped just as she was about to fall over the edge. She cursed, threatened and finally begged him to let her go, but he kept on teasing her. At that time she decided to break free and make him do what she wanted. It only resulted in her laying on her belly instead, ass up in the air. She heard the rustling of cloth and then felt his dick pressed against her buttcheeks. She guessed he had to be 10 inches long atleast. She was aching now to feel him inside her and she did everything to make him slide into her, but he had other plans. He stood up and lifted her up, head downwards. He put one hand on the backside of her head, moving it towards his erection. She understood the hint and started licking the shaft, avoiding the glans as he had avoided her clit before. Meanwhile he had started licking her pussy again, sticking his tongue deep inside her. She decided to take him all down her troath or atleast as much as she could, and when she did she heard him groan loudly. After a while he put her down on the floor and ordered her to lay down on the bed. She did and he started sliding his dick back and forth her crotch, wetting himself. When he tried to slid into her she whined.

- Damnit, she said, you're hung like a horse, it will never fit.

- Got any oil or something?

- There should be some lube in the top drawer, she said and he went looking.

He found a halffull bottle.

- What have you been doing, he asked smirking.

- Shut it and get back to business.

And so he did. He smeared himself and her with a rich amount of lube and this time it didn't hurt Rai half as much as it had done before, but it still hurt. But thankfully, the worst of the pain was replaced with pleasure as he started thrusting into her. He soon got bored of this ordinary position and pulled out of her. He lifted her up and pinned her against a wall before sliding inside her again. Rai felt the hard wood against her back and the hard chest of her taichou, Zaraki Kenpachi, against her breasts and she felt caught in a trap. But it was a trap that she didn't want to escape from. When she had come 3 times he decided it was his turn and he began to ferociously bang into her. After a few minutes he spilled himself over her belly and sank to his Rai once again sat on the bed she lit the room again using her bankai.

- Kenpachi, she said, my back itches. Mind checking what it is?

- Splinters, he answered.

- You bastard, you got them there, you get them out!

He grinned at her and started pulling the long wooden splinters out of her back with his teeth, licking the blood from the small sores. When he was done, 10 or so splinters lay on the floor and Rai once again slipped in between the bedsheets. She gestured for him to follow. As he crept down beside her, she decided that it felt rather nice having his massive body beside her.

Rai's tea had gone cold as she was lost in memories. She sighed and went in to get some new. Their games had escalated and poor Unohana-taichou had had to work overtime treating them. When Rai felt the first stirrings of a force inside her, later known as her inner hollow, she had fled Seireitei for the real world. It had taken 15 long years to learn how to controll it and now when she finally could get back to living in Seireitei she had flinched. She cursed herself. She did indeed miss Kenpachi and she desperately hoped that it would go away over time.


	6. Chapter 6

It was late night when it knocked on the door to Zaraki Rai's house in Karakura Town. She thought it was odd, but went to open anyway. It was Ikkaku and Yumichika from the 11th squad

- What are you doing here, she asked as she let them in.

- We were sent here together with Hitsugaya-taichou and Matsumoto-fukutaichou to keep the arrancar attacks at bay, and we need somewhere to stay, Yumichika explained.

- Sure thing that you can stay, she said smilingly. Are there more comming from Soul Society?

- Nope, we're all here now. By the way, how can you afford a house like this?

- It seems, she laughed, that my father never had me declared dead, just missing and when I came back I inherited a lot of money and I work a little extra as a nurse at a local veterinarian.

She yawned sleepily.

- Now, gentlemen, she continued, I'll be going to bed. Please make yourselves at home. There's food in the fridge, beds upstairs and the bathroom is behind the door under the staircase.

Next morning was a sunny Saturday and Ikkaku and Yumichika found Rai sitting in the garden eating breakfast wearing a luxuriously looking silk morning gown.

- Ohioh, she said, I made some breakfast for you, it's on the kitchen counter.

- Thanks, but no thanks, Yumichika declined, but I think it's better me and Ikkaku get going to meet the others at the shop.

Rai nodded and the 2 men left. When she was done eating she went inside, got dressed and went out for a walk. She enjoyed the early october air and somewhere, deep in her brain, she wished she had someone to share it with.

Later that evening a call about arrancar sighting came and she went out to watch the fight. It ended brutally and bloodily, but it seemed that Orihime could handle healing them all. Rai smiled and went back home. She was just going into the bath when Yumichika entered.

- I'm so very sorry, he said, but it seems that me and Ikkaku left our gigais here and I'm here to pick them up.

- Ofcourse, she smiled, I'm going into the bath now, just tell me when you're leaving.

Yumichika nodded and stated for himself that when Rai smiled she was scarily alike Unohana-taichou. That smile could hide so much.

Rai had been in the bath for about 5 minutes when the doorbell rang. For fuck's sake, she thought.

- Yumi-chan, she yelled, will you please get the door, I'm a bit indisposed.

She heard the door open and some muffled voices. She couldn't hear what was being said, but she was sure Yumichika would come to her if it was something important. She heard the door close again and a few moments later Yumichika announced that he was going. Rai slipped further into the water, only eyes and nose above the waterline, her blue hair floating on the surface. She had her back against the door, which was open, and she suddenly realised that there was something blocking the light from the livingroom. She turned her head to look over her shoulder and found a person standing in the doorway.

The silhouette was big, broad and blissfully familiar.

- Kenpachi, she said, it's not appropriate to surprise a lady in the bath.

- Tell me where that lady is and I'll apologize.

Rai grinned and threw a wet sponge at him. It hit him in the face and soaked it and made her giggle.

- What are you doing here then? Did you come to kill me?

- I'm here to deliver some orders to Ikkaku and Yumichika. Mind helping me showing the way to the store where Yumichika told me they would be?

- Is it urgent?

- Not really, no.

- Good, she said, then you can help me fix my hair.

She sat down on the floor, her back against him. He squatted down behind her and took the brush laying on a shelf beside him. He carefully undid all the tangles and finished it all by braiding her hair in two, not unlike SoiFon's hair. When he was done he ran his fingers along her naked back.

- OK, she said, let me get dressed and we can get going.

It was crowded in the store. All the shinigamis and Ichigo and company was there and Ichigo flew to his feet as he saw the big taichou and Rai enter.

- Chill, Kenpachi told him, I'm not here to fight. Atleast not now.

He handed the orders to Ikkaku.

- By the way Ikkaku, weren't you dead?

- Nah, it was Yumichika who were a bit over enthusiastic about the thoughness of my opponent.

- What a shame. I was so happy that you were dead.

- Can't always get what you want.

- True, Kenpachi said and they left again.

When they walked back Rai noticed a slight unease in Kenpachis strides.

- Something wrong, Ken-chan?

- It's this stupid gigai, it's so stiff and clumsy.

- It'll loosen up soon, she said.

They were quiet for some time.

- Can I ride on your back, she timidly asked.

- Rai, you don't even have to ask.

She squealed delighted and climbed up his back, resting her arms on his right shoulder. She nibbled his ear.

- So you can do that in public here, he asked.

- Not really. Well you can, as long as noone sees you.

He nodded thoughtfully and then halted.

- Did you feel that?

- Yes, Rai answered. Hollow!

Kenpachi started running and they found the hollow in a park close by, trying to eat a kid's soul. Before Kenpachi even begun to get out of his gigai Rai had wiped out the hollow from the face of earth.

- Hey kid, she said. I'm Rai. Are you all alone?

- Yes, he sniveled, my mommy is gone and I can't find her.

- I see. Well, I can show you a place where she might be. It's called Soul Society. Want to give it a try? It won't hurt, I promise.

Rai placed her palm on the kid's forehead.

- Take care, she said as the hellbutterfly fluttered away.

She got back into her body.

- I so wish I could eat those hollows and show them the terror their victims felt just before they got eaten, she muttered. To attack a child! How cowardly.

She was upset. She turned around and banged her fist into Kenpachi's hard chest.

- There, she said. All better.

- It's about 2 or 3 am, she continued looking up at the moon. I think we better go to bed. There's alot to be done tomorrow.

- Like what?

- You'll see, she said smilingly.

It was warm and Rai slept naked, ass in air and one of Kenpachi's hands on it.

He woke up the next morning of Rai sitting astride his chest dripping something cold in his face. She was dressed in her favourite morning gown, the one she had worn so many times in Seireitei.

- What, he grumbled.

- The bath is ready and after breakfast awaits, she handed him a gown. Let's get going!

They sat across eachother in the tub. The whole room smelled of lemongrass.

- Come here, Kenpachi said and Rai moved over to his side.

She sat in his lap and he started massaging her shoulders. In the milky water he could not see her hands, but he could feel them moving.

- Rai, are you doing what I think you're doing?

- What do you think I'm doing then?

- I think you're having your hands in a place where they shouldn't be.

She gave him a guilty look and he laughed.

- Got you there, didn't I?

- Don't look so sullen, he continued, I have something in mind for you today.

And what a sinister thing he had come up with. All day he teased her, licking and biting her neck, touching her in places he knew were sensitive and he even went so far that he stuck 2 fingers up her pussy while they were out shopping. Later that evening, as Rai was preparing some lychees and melon for a late evening snack, he bent her over the counter, pulled down her panties and started eating her out. She cursed at him, but stood still. She was so damn horny she would let him do whatever he wanted aslong as he would fuck her in the end. Again, this was one of their games. He loved to dominate her and it got him turned on, knowing how much she hated it. As sudden as he had started he stopped and Rai decided that this was enough.

- I want it and I want it now! And you're going to give it to me, she declared.

She grabbed his belt and dragged him upstairs to the master bedroom. He laid down on the bed.

- Strip for me! If you want anything from me, you better work for it.

She sighed, put on some music and started stripping. She mused over the sight of him stroking himself watching her, but that amusement soon went away. As she took off her panties he shot his load over his stomach. Rai got furious. She jumped him and started beating him. Fist against face. Crimson blood against white sheets. She could see him grin and she could feel him getting hard again.

- I got you again, he growled and threw her off him and pinned her down.

His blood dripped down into her face.

- And now, he said, I want you to lick up the blood you coated my face in.

And she did. She licked his forehead, his cheekbones, his lips, she traced the small lines of blood down his troath. As she did so, his hand was down between her legs, 2 fingers inside her pussy. She knew he was ready, he was just waiting. Sometimes he would keep her waiting for 5 minutes, sometimes 30. It was all up to him. Luckily for her, she didn't have to wait long.

- I guess you're ready, he whispered into her ear.

She felt his fingers removed and replaced with his dick which he pressed against her opening and the slowly slid into her. When he was about halfway in he did one fast thrust and buried himself all down to the bottom of her and she screamed. He had a very rough style and she loved it. If the pleasure was bordering on pain, she was happy. He kept on banging into her and she felt herself getting closer and closer to an orgasm, fast. Sadly, she always gave away when she was about to come by digging her nails into his troath and when he noticed her doing so he stopped. He rolled over so Rai ended up on top, he put his hand on her ass so he could regulate her pace. If she wasn't quick enough or didn't let him in as deep as he wanted he would slap her. And so she began riding him, slow and deep first and then faster and faster. His grip on her ass was tight and would leave marks after his nails. Then he did something he had never done before. He let her suck his middlefinger which he then slid into her ass. She stopped momentarily in surprise.

- Oh, come on, he chidded, I know you like this.

- Bastard!

She didn't want to admit it, but fact was that she liked it and she liked it alot. She rode him harder, letting him hit the bottom of her everytime he went in. He felt her nails once again assaulting his throath and he pushed her off him.

- Now what? She sounded angry

- On your knees!

- What?

- Get on your knees, he said and smacked her ass to get her going.

As he entered her from behind she moaned loudly. She had always been the quiet type and if he could get her to sound up it would be another score for him. He kept on thrusting, making her moan everytime he hit bottom and whimpering as he withdrew. She couldn't claw at his neck this time so he missed the signs and when she came her whole body became stiff and she wailed his name. She kept on moaning loudly afterwards and that newfound thing was exciting him. A few minutes later he came deep inside of her while sounding some particularly vile curses. Afterwards, they both lay spent looking up at the ceiling.

- God, he said, it's been too long.

She did not answer, there was no need. She knew that if the bloodthirsty taichou ever needed anyone, he would come to her. She knew that he had some other girls, but he would always come back to her and that made it all worthwhile. As she lay on his chest, listening to his heartbeats, she knew he had to go back to Soul Society tomorrow, but she knew it was OK. He would always come back to her.


	7. Chapter 7

They were on their way in the real world. It was Rai, Renji, Toushirou and Rangiku. Ikkaku and Yumichika were already at the scene. The arrancar had attacked Karakura Town, more specific Orihime Inoue and Kurosaki Ichigo. Orihime's house had been the start of the fire now ravaging the block. When they had made sure that Ichigo and Orihime were OK and that no arrancar were in sight Rai lept off, face showing outright fear, and the others followed. Rai stopped by a house which was burning violently. All the color from her face disappeared as she heard a scream rise from the inside as the house collapsed. They had to hold her to stop her from going into the flaming inferno. Then they saw a person walk out from the burning rubble. It was a woman around 25 and on her chest a severed chain hung. She walked up to Rai.

- Rai-chan, she said, what are you doing here? I've missed you.

To those words the others watched Rai sag to her knees and soon the other woman followed. Rai desperately took her in her arms.

- I'm so sorry, she whispered, barely audible for the others, I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you.

- It's OK, Rai, but I didn't expect to meet you here. Are you dead too?

Rai wept quietly in the other woman's arms, unable to answer. A weeping Rai was something noone of the others had seen and it made them uncomfortable.

- Rai, the woman said, I think I have to go somewhere now...

- I don't want to let you go.

- But if you're dead too, maybe we'll be going to the same place...

Rai pulled herself togheter and placed her zanpaktous seal on the woman's forehead.

- I love you, they whispered in tandem, and then she was gone.

- Who was that, Rangiku asked as Rai got up from her knees, you seemed pretty close.

Rai looked at her with tearstained eyes and cleared her troath.

- She was my lover when I lived here.

- Oh, she said and fell silent.

Everyone was quiet. It had been a long time since any of them had lost someone close, but they knew. Words were so meaningless and useless. Thankfully, it seemed as they would get some distraction that evening. A call from Soul Society came. A horde of Gillian type Menos Grandes had attacked and every shinigami was needed. Rai followed the others, bloodlust burning in her eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

It's amazing how quick things can end. One second you're so sure of what you got and the next moment it's gone, never to be reclaimed. And when you just have gotten a precious thing back, it hurts the double.

It rained. Everything was soaking wet and the whole of Seireitei felt miserable for themselves.

Zaraki Kenpachi, taichou of the 11th squad had just arrived at the scene and he could not believe what he saw. Rai was there, laying in what seemed to be an ocean of blood, slowly being diluted by rain. It was so unthinkable, but very possible. Rai was on a taichous level and probably way over, but she could not handle 25 menos all by herself. Her soul pulse was weak and decreased each second. Kenpachi kneeled beside her and took her head in his hands.

- Rai, my dearest Rai.

She opened her eyes, which had always been completely white, but now the glow were gone from them and they looked like a blind man's eyes, unseeing.

- I'm dieing Ken-chan, she said faintly. I guess this is the end. It has been an honor and a pleasure serving under you, Zaraki-taichou.

- Don't talk such crap, he sounded almost desperate. You can heal! Do it!

- I don't have the reiatsu to fix this. Her voice died out.

- Then take mine! I know that you can.

He ripped off his eyepatch.

- Come on, Rai, I know that you want to.

He put her hand against his forehead, there was a jolt of pain, a quick flash of fire and he was thrown into oblivion.

When Kenpachi woke up he was at the 4th squad's treatment rooms. He saw Isane-fukutaichou walking around caring for the other patients.

- Isane!

- Oh, you're awake now, Zaraki-taichou, she smiled.

- Where's Rai?

- I'm afraid she's not here.

- What!

He flew up from his bed, ignoring his own injuries. He had to find out where Rai was, if she was alive. He ran around the place searching for Rai or someone who would know anything about her. In a small secluded room he found her. Unohana-taichou had just finished her work there.

- Rai, Kenpachi breathed and walked up to her bed.

- Kenpachi, Unohana softly spoke, she's still on the verge of death, please be careful.

He warily sat down beside Rai and took her pale hand in his broad scarred one.

- Rai, I know you can hear me, he whispered in her ear. I know you don't like defeat, so don't settle for it now. I need you here to help me with Yachiru and I know we have a future together and...

He fell silent. He had never cared for anyone but Yachiru before and it was god damned hard for him to express feelings he never knew existed. Hate was alright, just as bloodlust and joy, but needing and powerlessness left him hanging in a nothingness.

The first thing Rai felt as she regained consciousness was the feeling of a single drop hitting her cheek. As she slowly opened her eyes she saw the origin of it glittering on Kenpachi's cheek.

- If your body only carried this single tear, I'm happy you shed it for me.

Her voice was hoarse, her eyes were dull and her face looked worn out. But she was alive!


	9. Chapter 9

Rai felt odd being a citizen of Seireitei again. After her last battle against the menoses,where she had been forced to use her bankai, Yamamoto-taichou ha decided it was best for her to stay in Soul Society. It had taken her a month to recover from her lifetreathening injuries and today was her second day out of bed and she still felt more than a little worn out. It was now wellknown that she shared the bed of Zaraki Kenpachi and some regarded that as unapropriate. Rai did not care, she could leave anytime she wanted if it didn't suit the others having her here. Being unable to fight, Rai had offered herself to fix all paperwork for Kenpachi, since there really wasn't much else for her do to and she spent most days inside. But not today, today was her day off and she was strolling around town, looking for nothing particularly. She had walked this street yesterday evening and had laid eyes on a beautiful silver bracelet, but since the shop was closed she had decided to go back today. But, with Rai's usual luck, the bracelet was gone. She had been so looking forward to buy it and had even told Kenpachi about it. She fretted some time over it and then decided to go and soothe herself with some ice-cream. When she entered the store she laughed out loud. There Yachiru was, sitting in Kenpachi's lap, trying to eat her way through what seemed to be a mountain of ice-cream almost the size of herself.

- Oi, Kenpachi called when he saw her, what are you doing here?

- Gonna try and drench my misery in some sugar, she answered theatrical.

- Aw, did someone mess your hair up?

She stuck her tongue out towards him and went to order. She sat down infront of them.

- Actually, the bracelet I told you about was gone today, she explained, and it made me disappointed.

She sat quiet and listened to Yachiru babbling about random things. Rai finished her ice-cream and rose from her place.

- Frankly, she said, I don't know what I'm doing here at all.

Damn, she thought as she walked the crowded streets of the trade district, why do I feel like this? She felt frustrated and banged a fist against the nearest wall. She was amazed to see it shatter and kept on hitting. It felt good smashing stuff into pieces and she kept on until she was fetched by the guards from the 6th squad and placed in one of their prison cells to cool down. It was almost dark in the cell, only a faint light shone in through the bars from the corridor and the corners were veiled in shadows. She sat down in one of them and felt comfortably numb in the dark, like she didn't really exist. She scorned herself for still carrying these depressed treats from the human life she lived so long ago. After a while her ass went numb from sitting on the hard floor and she laid down. She didn't know how much time had passed when someone finally opened the door to her cell. It was Abarai Renji. They had developed a rather close friendship during his stay in the real world.

- Get up Rai, my taichou wants to see you.

- What on earth does he want?

- I dunno, just follow please.

She entered the office of 6th squads taichou, Kuchiki Byakuya, his cold eyes rose from the papers to look at her.

- And you wanted, she asked.

- Manners, have you ever heard of that?

- Well yeah, not that I use them much.

- Can you teach them?

- Wait, wait, what is this all about?

- Simply, I need someone to teach little Yachiru some manners since I don't have time to see to that anymore and I don't think Zaraki can handle it. You're around her so much I thought you could set an example.

- Well, Rai laughed, I'll try my best, but don't have too high expectations. She has, after all, spent all her life with Kenpachi. You can take the tiger out of the jungle, but never the jungle out of the tiger.

She walked out from the office and into the cold evening air. Had they really kept her in the cell for 8 hours? She cursed and headed to the 11th squads usual meeting place. The only one present was Yumichika.

- Rough day, he asked as she sat down by him and ordered a bottle of saké.

- First disappointed and then put in jail. Easy to say that I've had better.

- See it like this, it could always be worse.

- Like what?

- Ikkaku is stuck babysitting Yachiru.

- Cheers to that then, she agreed. She sipped the saké and offered him the bottle. He accepted.

- So, she said, what's Ken-chan doing then if he can't watch Yachiru?

- No idea, he hasn't told anyone.

They sat chatting and drinking until the small hours and Rai was more than tipsy as she staggered into Zaraki's bedroom. He looked like he was sleeping and she thought she would wake him up. She slipped down under the sheet and started licking his dick. It grew rapidly and after a few seconds she couldn't fit it all down her troath. She licked and sucked and when he still didn't wake up she proceeded to a bit more drastically methods. She sat astride him rubbing herself against his dick, getting herself wet and worked up. She kept on rubbing until she fell spasming against his chest, and, still, he seemed to be asleep. And then, in her drunken haze, she did something she had never done before in her whole life. She leaned over and whispered her confession into his ear.

- Ken-chan, I love you.

She then sloushed over to her side of the bed and fell asleep. If she had been sober she would have noticed his body tensing as she said those words. Kenpachi was awake and had been the whole time.

Rai was terribly hungover the next morning and did not appreciate Kenpachi's tries to get her out of bed.

- Damnit Rai! I have Rukongai patroll in 30 minutes and I need you at the office as my stand in.

- Use Yachiru or whomever, I don't want to, she said and turned her back at him.

He yanked her up, dressed her by force and carried her over his shoulder to the office.

- I'll get them to send some breakfast here, now sit tight here and be a good girl and I'll have something for you tonight.

She made a sour face, but stayed put. She was much like Yachiru, he thought, so very bribable. Rai sat behind the desk, head feeling like it was made of lead and like it was spinning wildly. It was 10am and she had to be here atleast 10 hours more so she decided to start with the paperwork. Often it was tedious, but it had it's golden moments, like when people asked for a day or 2 off. She could deny or just throw the form away and noone would ever question it, since they thought it was the taichou reading them. Today's minor irritation was that someone had stolen all the pens, so Rai had to take one of Yachiru's crayons. She guessed the sotaichou could find it amusing to once in his life read reports written with magenta colored crayon. Around noon it knocked on the door. It was Hanatarou from the 4th squad.

- I'm here with your food, he said looking around himself like he was expecting an ambush.

- Hanatarou, there's no need for you to look so scared, I'm not Kenpachi after all.

He nodded and put the tray on the desk and left. Rai eyed her lunch. Rice and fish, which was pretty standard, but the ordinary tea had been switched with lychee juice, which Kenpachi knew she loved. There was also a small bottle of saké with a note attached to it.

" I thought you could use a refresher"

No sign, but she knew it was from him. The hours dragged by and when it was 2 hours left Matsumoto entered the office. Noone could avoid work like Matsumoto and she always had loads of gossip to share. They talked about the real world, what stores to visit and when Hitsugaya-taichou entered, Matsumoto hid behind the desk. Rai shook her head, telling the taichou that she had no idea where Matsumoto could be. The taichou was cute, but very gullible. As the watch on the wall announced that workday was over Rai and Matsumoto hurried out of the building so they wouldn't get caught with some left over work.

Kenpachi wasn't home when Rai entered his house. She made a light meal and sat down to read. She had brought all of her books from the real world and was now rereading them. She had changed out of her shinigami uniform and into her silk morning gown, her zanpaktous lay infront of her on the table. It was almost midnight when a blooddrenched Kenpachi entered the house. She looked at him.

- Theirs or yours?

- Mostly theirs.

He undressed and she got to heal the small wounds before he got into the bath. Rai sat behind him on a stool and removed the bells from his hair and put them in the small wooden box he used to store them in lest he'd loose them. She combed his hair with her fingers, undoing the spikes he usually had.

- So how was it comming back to Zaraki, she asked him.

- The same as when I left it. It's a dreadful place to live in.

- You don't have to tell me. You want some clean clothes or are you going directly to bed?

- Some clothes and you should get dressed too, we're going out.

She nodded and fetched a clean uniform and bandages for him. When they exited he once again had his hair in spikes and eyepatch on and looked as menacing as usual.

- Where we going, she asked.

- To Zaraki.

- Why the hell?

- I have something I want to show you. He threw her up on her place on his right shoulder and ran and didn't stop until he was in the middle of the Zaraki woods. He sat her down on the dewy grass. He truly looked like a demon, towering infront of her as fullmoon bathed everything in a silvery coat. He sat down infront of her and handed her a small package wrapped in pink paper and with a white ribbon that showed it was Yachiru who had wrapped it.

- What's this?

- Just open it and you'll find out.

She eagerly opened it, just on the line of actually ripping of the paper and, to her surprise, she found the bracelet she had wanted. On this inside and inscription read "Zaraki Rai".

- How did you, When... Why?

- I've meant to ask you this since it was decided that you would have to stay here in Soul Society after the arrancar attack, but I guess I never found the time...

He fell silent and she looked at him curiously.

- Go on, she urged him.

- We've shared blood, bed and battles, but I never knew if you was serious.. Damn it, screw the fancy talk! Rai, he said looking into her eyes, will you be my wife?

For Rai it felt like time froze. What was he saying? She had always thought that she was one of many. Maybe one he used a little more frequent, but still one that he just used. She looked at him in disbelief.

- Are you serious? She staggered on her words.

- Dead serious, I love you.

She looked down on her feet, only thing that could be heard was the sound of crickets and heartbeats. She rose her head and smiled at him.

- Zaraki Kenpachi, I would love to be your wife.

He took her in his arms and held her tight. Too tight.

- Ow, Ow, OW, Rai said, muffled by his body and started waving her arms. When he let go her eyes were bloodshot.

- Let's go back and I'll arrange a meeting with the other taichous tomorrow.

She nodded and climbed up on his back and took her place on his right shoulder, a place that she now could declare hers only. They fell asleep in eachothers arms for the first time as lovers and not fuckfriends.

The next morning Kenpachi asked for an audition with Yamamoto-sotaichou.

- What do you have in mind, Zaraki?

- I need you to gather the taichous, Yamamoto-jiisama, I have a wedding to declare.

- Oh, he looked at Kenpachi, and who's might that be?

- Mine.

Yamamoto stopped doing his paperwork and looked up in surprise.

- And who might the lucky lady be?

- Fourth seat of the 11th squad, Zaraki Rai.

- Ofcourse, you two are, after all, a perfect match.

- Yeah, people say that. So will you gather the taichous?

- I will do that and also announce the wedding for them and you go tell your squad.

Kenpachi nodded and left. He summoned some hellbutterflies and told them to seek out his squad and tell them to meet up at the HQ. During the taichou's meetings Rai lay in the bath. She felt very lucky and very blessed. Suddenly she had gotten her own family, something she had not had since, well she couldn't remember how long ago it was, but she knew it was before her human death.

The words spread fast in Seireitei. A wedding was a rare thing, but the wedding of Zaraki Kenpachi was something noone ever thought possible. It was custom that the wedding preparations would take one month and during that time the lovers were not allowed to see eachother, so Rai left for the real world.

Rai had just finished packing the last of her things that she had gotten while being a permanent habitant of Karakura Town so that they would be easier to move if she'd ever need them. She would be wedded in her shinigami uniform so she hadn't had to buy a dress, but she had bought some fancy underwear that was all see-tru and lace. They were red ofcourse. She had also cut off half of her hair so it now only reached to the tips of her shoulderblades instead of being so long that she could sit on it. The food of the real world was somthing entirely different from the one in Soul Society along with many other items, so Rai had bought some candy for Yachiru, finebrand saké for Ikkaku and beautyproducts for Yumichika to bribe them to stay away from her and Kenpachi for a while. All was set for the big day.

The wedding was scheduled on the 17th of September 6pm and when that day dawned, Rai's schedule was full. The day was crisp with the first hint of winter in the wind and some early yellow leaves were rustling along the streets. After breakfast Rai went to a spa, getting a full body treatment, manicure and pedicure. After that it was off to the hairdresser who made an intricate hairdo speckled with small white flowers and as a last thing, she went and got her makeup done. When she looked at herself in the mirror she could not believe what she saw. She had never ever imagined she could look this pretty.

As she set foot in Seireitei she was crowded by the female shinigamis who were all drowning her with compliments. All wedding preparations was set and people were waiting for her. Rai had thought it would be a small wedding, but apparantly all of Seireitei had been invited and the wedding was being held on the central townsquare and for the first time Rai got cold feet. She was escorted to the altar by her former taichou, Unohana-san. She stood there alone waiting a few minutes before Kenpachi entered the square. He was a taichou and needed no escort. He walked with his back straight, very big and very strong, and Rai felt very proud to soon be able to call him her own. All the taichous were present as whitnesses and the cermony was lead by Yamamoto-sotaichou. Rai and Kenpachi stood hand in hand and listened to the sotaichou talking abot their lives, the little that was known to him. They had to present their wrists and with a blade only used in formal occasions the sotaichou cut a line on their wrists. A vertical on Rai's and a horizontal on Kenpachi's. As their blended blood flowed into eachothers bodies the sotaichou declared:

- You are now two who have become one and I declare you husband and wife!

They turned around and was met by thousands of voices cheering.

- I have one more thing to announce, Kenpachis loud voice roared and spread silence through the crowd.

-As Rai and I now are bloodkin, she has the right to become my stand in when I am not present.

Rai looked at him and raised an eyebrow. Kenpachi took of his taichou haori and made her put it on.

- Rai now has the full right to wear this when there is need.

The taichous and crowd gasped. This was not unheard of, but it was such a rare thing that it had only happened once before that a taichou shared his possition with someone else. Kenpachi started walking down the altar stairs and saw Rai hessitating.

- You comming, dear?

- Well, um, she looked a little embarassed at the haori, it's not that I don't like it, but it's so damn big and I'm going to trip for certain if I try to walk in it.

That comment set of laughter and even Kenpachi smiled.

- Well, it can't be helped that you are half a metre too short, he said and threw her up on his shoulder.

In that fashion they decended the stairs and the 3 day celebration began.

They sat side by side at the large table, Ikkaku and Yumichika at their sides and Yachiru in Rai's lap.

- Yachiru, Rai said, I have something for you.

- Oooh, what, Rai-chan, what?

Rai produced a box from her bag and it was filled with candy which Yachiru immediately went for.

- Wait a moment, Rai said, before you can have this you have to promise me the leave me and Ken-chan alone today and tomorrow and play with Yumichika and Ikkaku. OK?

- OK, OK, Yachiru said excitedly, grabbed the box and skipped off.

Rai handed Ikkaku and Yumichika their bribes and thanked them for watching Yachiru. She looked at Kenpachi.

- I took the liberty of making sure that we weren't going to be interrupted.

- Great idea. Shall we get going?

She grinned and nodded. This was going to be memorable. He picked her up and carried her bridalstyle Seireitei, but first he announced:

- Ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna go attend more important businesses and the little lady here have to follow wether or not she wants to.

He didn't let her down until he had crossed the doorstep to what had been his house, but now was theirs.

- Hmm, it smells different, Rai said and sniffed the air.

- Yeah, I haven't been allowed to stay here the last week. The Kotetsu sisters have been cleaning this place out.

Rai started checking all the rooms out to see what had been changed. She came out in the livingroom again.

- Looks just like before, just more neater.

She walked up to him and let her hands slide in under his jacket. She felt the defined lines of his muscles, all of the scars he carried and then took of his uniform jacket and stepped back. He followed and grabbed hold of her blue silk sash. He grinned at her and ripped of her jacket and threw it on the floor. She countered by ripping of the bandages covering his torso.

- I have the advantage of wearing more clothes, she giggled.

- I guess I'll have to even it out then.

He grabbed her and removed her skirt and bandages leaving Rai dressed in the red, lacy underwear, the overknee socks and her neckchoker. He made an approving gesture at the underwear and laid her down on the thick rug. He breathed on her skin and made her squirm. She knew he was teasing her and would do so for a while. He removed her bra and started caressing her breasts, fingering her nipples, making them erect. She hissed as his tongue wet them and his teeth bit down.

- Jeez, that really hurts!

- Does it bother you?

She grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked his head back, mocking him. It just made him bite down harder. He let her go and traced a line with his tongue towards her g-string. He tried to rip it with his teeth, but to no success.

- Stay put, I'll just get my zanpaktou.

No way that she was going to be a nice girl and lay waiting for him. She snuck after him and climbed up his back. She licked his neck and nibbled at his earlobe.

- Didn't I tell you to stay?

He dragged her over his shoulder and lay her down on the kitchentable where their zanpaktou lay, intertwined, just like their souls. He kneeled down between her legs and started planting butterflykisses on the fabric of her underwear. She grabbed his hair again and tried to push him closer.

- Calm down, he muttered, I'm not gonna fo any faster than what I please.

He kept on kissing the outside of her panties. When she started squirming in anticipation he grabbed his zanpaktou and cut the thin laces keeping the string together. He ran his tongue over her mons veneris.

- Shaved and smooth, he murmured and ran his wicked tongue over her labias.

She whimpered silently. As he started playing with her clit a faint "Oh God!" escaped her.

- That would be me then, he grinned and moved his face up to hers. She stared licking his lips.

- Like the taste of your own pussyjuice?

He slipped 2 fingers up her pussy and fingered her at the same time as he let her tongue play with his.

- You want me now, he hissed his question into her ear.

She moaned her answer to him.

- Well, too bad, you aint getting it yet.

He undid and stepped out of his hakama.

- I've made you ready and now I want you to make me ready.

She smiled at him and kneeled down infront of him. She started licking his halferect dick with long and slow strokes all over his shaft.

- Come on Rai, I know you can do better.

- Aaah, he moaned, that's more like it, when she took him in her mouth and started sucking him.

As she let him deeptroath her he banged his fist into the table. When he decided that he was ready he took her by the hair and pulled her up to her feet. He picked her up and carried her to the bed and laid her down on her back. He poised himself ontop of her and fixed her lips with his and then slowly let his dick slide into her pussy. He started out with slow and shallow thrusts, but soon he switched to bury himself to the hilt in her. She bucked against him pleading for him to fuck her harder, and he did. As he banged violently into her she raised her hands and started clawing as his neck. And he let her orgasm.

- What the, she asked, you didn't stop me?

- Well, today I'm not just fucking you because it feels good, but, for the first time, I'm doing it because I love you.

She smirked at him, but soon after she gasped as he did one fast thrust into her.

- Now, he said, I want you on all four, presenting that tight little ass of yours to me.

She placed herself on her hands and knees, wiggling her ass at him.

- Damnit Rai, don't make it harder on yourself.

He once again entered her and she wailed out in pleasure. He raked his fingers over her back.

- These small scars bring back memories, he grinned.

- Which, there's alot to choose from.

- Those I got you the first night I claimed you.

He withdrew and picked her up.

- I think I would like to relive that, he said and pinned her against the wall.

He slowly let his dick slide in again and started fucking her. Rai was overwhelmed by the memories, the smell of Zaraki Kenpachi, who was now her husband but then had been her taichou and, ofcourse, by his dick making it's way in and out of her. She reached the peak rather quickly, but was left hanging there.

- Kenpachi, she whispered, I'm gonna come soon.

- Just you wait a few more minutes, he grunted.

When he came it was the pent up load from a month of no release and the sheer amount and the way it felt inside had Rai literally hurled over the edge of her own orgasm. He sagged to his knees and Rai slid after along the wall. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he wrapped his around her waist. They stayed so for a couple of minutes, catching their breaths.

- Any splinters, he asked later as they sat in the bed.

- Probably. Will you check?

He nodded and turned her back agains him.

- Could use some more light, he said.

- Go fetch Sakura and I can use bankai.

As the fire illuminated the room he hissed.

- Seems you've got enough for a board embedded in your back.

- Get them out then, she sighed.

It took some time and afterwards she lay on his chest letting the nicks stop bleeding.

- You know, she said, I never thought I'd get a family again. It's not like I ever needed one. I never needed anyone, until you came along. At first I detested being transferred to your squad, it was such a disgrace.

Kenpachi lay quiet, listening to her.

- I even detested you in the beginning, she continued, the other taichous always pictured you as crude, evil and not the least bit sane. But that's the way we live. It's for our own sake, noone elses, and we live as we see fit. I think that the others dislike the 11th squad since we actually can see our lives end. But if I die tomorrow I can atleast say that I had the time of my life today.

They both dozed off eventually, blissfully ignorant of the world as long as the otherone's skin was warm.


	10. Chapter 10

They were everywhere, those damned arrancar. This was an outright war. Losses had been great the first day and today it seemed to be critical. The 11th squad was, at the moment, divided into 2 parts. Each of the parts defending a gate. Rai was commanding the east gate together with Yumichika and Kenpachi and Ikkaku held the north gate. It was at the endgame of this battle and both shinigami and arrancar was at their limits. The members of the 4th squad swished in and out of the battlefield collecting the injured. The arrancar was getting desperate and was going for every easy target. Rai just barely managed to get between the swiping claws of a Vasto Lorde and Hanatarous neck. Rai stod swaying for half a second. The beating sounds of her released swords disappeared.

- My face, she whispered.

- My face, she yelled, you cut my face you fucking bastard!

Her reiatsu flared up, forcing all with smaller reiatsu to the ground which pretty much left her and the Vasto Lorde standing. Even Yumichika, who was used to the reiatsu of Kenpachi, was forced to his knees.

- I'll tear you into pieces, she continued yelling, blood running down her face from 4 deep gashes. I'll make sure that you'll wish that you were never born!

She charged at him, bawling curses as she went, blades sheathed. She lashed out at the hollow and landed a punch in it's face, momentarily confusing it. That was all she needed. She jumped up on the Vasto Lorde's shoulders and suddenly the arrancar found it's head being ripped off by Rai's bare hands. Yumichika then watched in horror as a slaughter like no other began. Rai was only using her hands and enemy limbs, entrails and whole hollows was thrown around making the few remaining ones turn tail and escape back into Hueco Mundo. It was the signal for the arrancar to withdraw and the battle was won, atleast for today. As the rest of the 11th squad arrived Rai was still raving, tearing limbs from the dying hollows. One of the wounds the Vasto Lorde had given her had split her cheek, making all her teeth show, givng her a demonish grin.

- Yumichika, Kenpachi called out, what the hell happened here?

- An arrancar sliced up Rai's face pretty bad when she tried to protect Hanatarou.

- How bad?

- For what I could see it was 4 wounds across her face going nose to scalp. One split her cheek, on went over her ear, one over her eye and one across her forehead.

Kenpachi cursed. He knew how precious Rai's face was to her. It would be devastating for her to have scars there.

- Rai, he called out to her, let me take a look at you.

As he got closer she stopped her rampage and looked up at him, eyes shining with madness.

- Don't look at me, don't come any closer.

And when he did she simply landed a kick in his gut, sending him flying over the battlefield and then she vanished.

- Zaraki-taichou, Ikkaku yelled out. How did that happen?

- Her reiatsu is simply bigger than mine and even I can't stand against her if she goes all out. Let's go back.

The taichous had been called to an emergency meeting. The battle reports was saddening. Half of the 11th squad lay slain on the battlefield and all the other squads had suffered casualties although not as severe. It was also reported that Chojiro-fukutaichou of the 1st squad and Marechiyo-fukutaichou of the 2nd squad had fallen.

- And, Yamamoto-sotaichou said, according to you, Zaraki, Rai is also missing?

- That's right, but if she can tear the head of a Vasto Lorde with her bare hand, I'm sure she can handle whatever might attack her. She'll be back when she's settled down.

- She did what, Ukitake-taichou asked.

- Tore a head off of a Vasto Lorde, Kenpachi answered coldly.

- I think I'm going to be sick.

- You always are, so what's the news?

In an adjoining room all the fukutaichous was gathered. Nanao had a go at Yachiru for being so calm when half of her squad had been erased.

- I cannot understand how you can be so indifferent about this, Nanao yelled.

- I'm not, Yachiru replied. I knew and loved everyone of them, but this is the way things are. They are dead and we do not brood over it.

- It's the fault of you and your taichou, forcing them to fight to death. Inprinting the dishonor of comming back alive after being defeated.

That was too much for Yachiru and Nanao suddenly found the tip of Yachiru's zanpaktou against her troath. At that moment Rai entered the room. She was washed in blood and 4 deep wounds gaped in her face.

- Yachiru-chan, she said quietly, don't.

- Rai-chan, Yachiru sniveled and soon Rai sat on the floor with a hysterically crying fukutaichou in her arms.

- You sure have some nerve, Nanao-fukutaichou. Blaming the deaths of her friends on a child, Rai said and glared across the room.

- Zaraki-san, it was Isane-fukutaichou, let me tend your injuries.

- They're fine, thank you.

- But..

- Listen. If you come any closer I'll kill you, Rai growled and then turned to Yachiru.

- Yachiru-chan. Go find Ken-chan and it'll feel better.

- But Rai-chan, what you gonna do?

- I'll go wash up. I'll be right back. OK?

- Kay, she agreed and scuffled off.

Rai threw a last glance at Nanao and spat.

- Disgrace, she muttered as she left.

Rai entered the public bathhouse where every taichou had a private room. She entered Kenpachi's room and sat down infront of the mirror wondering where to start. Her clothes was more or less colored with blood, her face was washed in crimson and her hair was caked with gore. She decided to wash up first. It took 5 buckets of water and a whole bottle of soap. She couldn't get a good look at the wounds burying themselves in her hair so she shaved all of the hair off on her left side. The cuts were deep, bone deep on some places and would deffinately leave scars. She had stopped the bleeding, but not completely healed them and she had left the on on her cheek open so when she opened her mouth all of her molars became visible. She bandaged as much of her face as she could. Being a co-taichou she had a spare uniform here and haori which she switched into. She left and headed to the bureau of technologies. As she arrived Mayuri-sama hadn't come back yet and she turned to Akon with her question.

- What may I help you with, Rai-san?

- Well, I need something to keep my hair from growing back while these wounds heal.

- Let me go look, please wait a while.

Rai waited for 10 minutes and then Akon came back and handed her a jar.

- If you apply this once a day the hair wont grow back on that area.

- Why do you even have such a thing like this?

- I don't know, I just work here.

She smiled, thanked and left. She didn't want to go home, she felt hopelessly lost and had no idea what to do. She didn't feel like herself and she hadn't recognized herself in the mirror. Who was she? She planlessly wandered the empty rainwashed streets of Seireitei for an hour or so, but then decided to go home after all. It was quiet and still in the house she shared with Kenpachi and she snuck into the adjoining house, the one belonging to Yachiru and found Kenpachi sitting by the bed watching the little fukutaichou sleep. Rai slowly backed away, suddenly feeling like an intruder and was about to run away, but froze as she heard him move.

- Rai-chan, he whispered as he exited the room and found her hiding in the shadows.

- Ken-chan, she lost her voice and could not find it again.

- Sssh, he hushed, it's OK.

He walked up to her and took her in his arms.

- Let me take a look at you.

- Don't, I'm ugly. She looked down into the floor.

- You can't be ugly, I can't believe that, he raised her face and took of the bandages.

- That's quiet some wounds, he sounded concerned, and they are going to leave scars.

She broke free from him.

- I look horrific, I'm not me anymore!

- Silly, he took her in his arms again, you will always be you. Those scars are just battletokens and don't change who you are.

He sat down on the couch, Rai in his lap and shortly after a newly awakened Yachiru came wobbling in her pajamas, dragging a teddybear after her. She crept up and snuggled into Rai's embrace.

- Daddy, mommy, don't ever leave me, she said sleepily.

Soon after both Rai and Yachiru were asleep. Kenpachi was awake a while longer marveling over his small, but oh-so real family.

The next day was calm and it seemed that the arrancar assault was over, atleast for this time. Rai was moody, she was in pain and so was Yachiru. Poor Kenpachi fled to Ikkaku and Yumichika and they indulged in some heavy duty drinking. After a few hours Rai came with Yachiru clinging to her back.

- Ken-chan, Yachiru's highpitched voice cut trough the crowd, we're all better now!

They sat down by the same table as Kenpachi, Ikkaku and Yumichika and Rai ordered saké and cake.

- Ooh, is the cake for me, Rai-chan?

- Ofcourse Yachiru, but you can have some of my drink too if you want.

- Ken-chan, can I have some of what Rai-chan is drinking?

- If Rai think it's ok.

Yachiru took a small sip from Rai's cup and then spluttered and made a sour face.

- That tasted icky, I rather eat cake, she said and gestured for Rai to feed her cake.

It was strawberrycake with lemonfrosting and it disappeared quickly. Rai sat quiet and listened to the others talk. When Yachiru found it boring she left and it was just the 4 of them. They sat reviewing the last 2 days battles, honoring those who died defending Seireitei and their dreams, by living and keep on fighting. That was the philosophy of the 11th squad. Live to fight, enjoy the fighting and celebrate your own life when someone died.


	11. Chapter 11

Rai sat on the frontporch of the 11th squad's HQ and watched Yachiru bathe her feet in the fountain. Yachiru was a teenager now, and had grown curves and breasts over the last 2 years. Rai absently traced the scars in her face, she had gotten used to them and had let her hair grow out again. She and Zaraki Kenpachi had been married for 6 years now and that made Yachiru 17. Rai frowned, had it really been that long since the demons from Zaraki officially became a couple?

Kenpachi was away on a mission in the real world and Rai, as the co-taichou of the 11th squad, had to run this place now. Ofcourse Yachiru-fukutaichou was still here aswell as third seat Madarame Ikkaku, but Ayasegawa Yumichika had left to become the taichou of the 9th squad. Rai was not used to wear the haori marking her as a taichou during anything else than formal meetings and such and she did not like the changes people made in their behaviour when she wore it. It was they thought she was a different person when dressed in the white robe.

Later that day Rai heard crying from Yachiru's room and knocked on the door. To Rai's amusement and Kenpachi's irritation Yachiru had installed a lock earlier this year.

- Yachiru-chan, is something wrong?

- Go away, I don't want to talk about it!

Rai shrugged and went back to the sofa to pick up the paperwork where she left it. Well, she thought, it's that age when boys become important, maybe it's just some heartache. She'll come to me if she feels like talking about it. But when the crying didn't stop and actually got more hysterical, Rai forced the door open.

Yachiru sat on the bed, face drenched in tears, her naked body covered in bruises. The bruises weren't unusual considering she was in the 11th squad, but the bitemarks on the inside of her tighs were not normal. Rai kneeled beside the pinkhaired girl and took her in her arms.

- Sweet, sweet Yachiru, what on earth happened?

And Yachiru told her story about how she had been attacked and drugged by on of the new recruits and how that man had the simply taken what he wanted. When Yachiru was finished Rai had a stern look on her face.

- Yachiru, she said, let's go to get you checked by Unohana-taichou and I want you to tell her exactly what you told me.

Yachiru nodded, got dressed and listlessly followed Rai.

- Rai-chan, where are you going, Yachiru asked when she had finished telling Unohana-taichou her story.

- I'm gonna go and make sure Ken-chan comes back now. Please stay here.

- Oh, you think he'll be mad?

- At you, no. At the recruit, yes, Rai answered and left.

She walked into the office of Yamamoto-sotaichou without knocking.

- Yamamoto-sama, please send after Kenpachi and make him come back immediately.

- What has happened?

- No time to explain, just tell him Yachiru needs him, Rai said and left to search for a certain recruit.

She knew what he looked like and she could guess he belonged to the 12th squad since he had had access to drugs powerful enough to make Yachiru helpless. She had in mind to play with him and when she found him her most sadistic side came to show. She captured him and tied him to a tree after making sure he was the one who had raped Yachiru. Rai started out slow by gently running her zanpaktou over his body leaving bloody trails behind. When she was tired of that she moved up one step and flayed his arms. As a former member of the 4th squad she knew to keep him alive and healed him when the wounds got too serious, prolonging his suffering. When Kenpachi arrived at the scene, the recruit was slowly dying from bleeding, being almost totally skinned, and his entrails lay on the ground infront of him. Rai sat a bit away and watched him with a pleased smile on her face. The evening sun shone on her face and made her seem serene. Kenpachi had brought Yamamoto, Byakuya and Toushirou and now he wished he hadn't.

- Is this the one, he growled and pointed at the man tied by the tree.

- For some more moments, yes, Rai answered, he wont live much longer.

- Is he regretting what he did, Byakuya asked.

- Oh, he was doing that 2 hours ago when I cut of his balls.

- You're a sick bastard, Toushirou said with a disgusted voice.

- Very believable, she agreed.

As the recruit drew his final breath Rai stood up.

- Well then, she said, now that this is over, maybe I should get some food.

They watched her walk away.

- What are you going to do, Kenpachi asked the sotaichou.

- I think I will let this one pass. That recruit did after all deserve it, and I think it'll be more trouble than it's worth explaining to Rai that she did something wrong.

Rai had gone to the 4th squad to pick Yachiru up. On the way home Rai told her all the gory details about how she had treated the recruit and that seemed to make Yachiru feel better.

- Did Unohana-taichou make you bathe?

- Hai, five times, Yachiru answered wearily.

- You hungry then?

Yachiru nodded and they went to get some food.

- Was Ken-chan mad, Yachiru asked with her mouth full of stew.

- Yeah, he was. But I'm not sure if it was me or the recruit he was mad at.

They sat silent for a while, eating.

- Yachiru, Rai said seriously, will you be OK?

- I don't know, but for the moment I feel OK...

They finished eating and went back to their adjoining houses. Kenpachi sat waiting in the dark for them when they came home.

- I think I'll go to bed, Yachiru yawned.

- OK, Rai answered, yell if you need anything.

When Yachiru had left Kenpachi looked at Rai.

- Will you please follow me out?

She nodded and they walked out to the yard. As Rai turned around towards Kenpachi his fist planted itself in her face and sent her flying into the stone wall across the square. Blood splatted out of her mouth. He grabbed her by the troath and lifted her up.

- I leave Yachiru to you for one day, one fucking day, and you let this happen!

- Let this happen?

Rai's voice was strangled and blood dripped down on her chest.

- You seriously think I let this happen, she yelled.

She broke free.

- If that's what you're thinking then to hell with you, she continued. Kenpachi, I love you, but I'm not gonna take such shit.

She threw her haori on the ground and walked away from him. Kenpachi considered following her, but decided not to and when he turned around he saw Yachiru standing in the doorway watching him.

- You idiot, she scowled, It wasn't Rai's fault!

She ran inside and looked the door to her room.

Rai was furiously cursing as she walked the streets, every poor sod not getting out of her way quick enough was thrown away or simply walked over. She could understand that Kenpachi was upset, she understood him very well, but accusing her was way too much. She decided to spend her night up in a tree and it took her several hours to calm down enough to be able to sleep.

She woke up late the next morning and when she jumped down she landed on something hard. It was still softer than the ground and she looked down. She had jumped down on Kenpachi's chest.

- What the hell do you want, she asked still standing on him.

- I'm sorry, was his simple reply. I did not mean to do that to you, but I was frustrated and..

He was interrupted by her placing her foot on his mouth.

- Don't, she said, there's no need.

She stepped off him, he got up and they walked downtown holding hands.

The 3 of them spent loads of time together and Yachiru slowly healed her mental wounds. Things would not be the same as before, but that was OK. Most things never stayed the same in Seireitei. If there was one thing the people form the 11th squad knew it was that no matter how serious an injury was, if you lived through it, it would make you stronger.


	12. Chapter 12

Kenpachi had no idea what was wrong with Rai. She had been throwing up every morning now for the past 2 weeks and it made him a little concerned.

- Won't you go and see Unohana-san, he pleaded.

- It's just the flu, she shrugged, but if you insist I'll go, but you'll be going with me.

- Me too, me too, Yachiru cheered.

Rai smiled. Yachiru was all grown up now, but she had kept her cheerfull optimism and sometimes acted like she was still the little girl who used to be hanging from Kenpachi's shoulder.

Rai sat on the examination table, feeling more than a little uncomfortable. Unohana had checked her troath and temperature, she had also taken some bloodsamples.

- Well, Unohana said, it's not the flu you've got.

- What is it then?

- I do have an idea about what it can be, but to be sure I'll have to do one more test.

Unohana handed Rai a small plastic cup.

- You mean I have to pee in that thing? You've gotta be kidding me!

- Don't make such a fuss, Unohana scolded her.

Rai muttered, but went to the bathroom. She had to wait 30 mins for the testresults and she sat grumbling in the waitingroom. When Isane stuck her head out to call Rai back in she also called Kenpachi and Yachiru.

- Is it something serious, Kenpachi asked.

Unohana ignored him and walked right up to Rai and took her hands.

- Wha, wha what? Rai staggered.

- Rai, Unohana said and looked her in the eyes, you're pregnant.

At those words Rai stood dumbfounded.

- Like I'm having a baby?

- Exactly.

- Oh shit...

Rai looked at Kenpachi, wonder shining in her eyes. Not a word was spoken until Yachiru had gathered herself.

- I'm getting a sibling, she cheered, jumping up and down and then she ran off to tell everyone about her newfound source of joy.

When Kenpachi's paralyzation had let go he picked Rai up and swung her around.

- I love you, I love you, I love you, he repeated.

Rai giggled and held her arms around his neck. In euforia they walked out of the 4th squad's HQ.

- You think this will go well, Isane asked her taichou.

- With the ironwill of those 2 it will, Unohana smiled.

- Isn't this a miracle, Rai asked her husband.

- The greatest ever, was his reply.

- Imagine, in 5 months we'll have a fourth member to our family.

Kenpachi held her tight, never wanting to let go.

The following days was filled with gratulations and celebrations and preparations. Everything had to be made babyproof and all babystuff had to be gotten. Yachiru was excited, being allowed to choose clothes and toys for the little one yet to be born. When everything was set it was just left to wait. Fortunately, Rai stopped being sick after the 5th month, but instead started complaining over how clumsy she felt. She soon fell into resignation and accepted things as they were. At the start of the 41st week Rai started to feel the first contractions and she went to see Unohana who advised her to stay at the hospital. 2 days later it started for real and Kenpachi was called from his training with the new recruits.

- Where is he going, one of them asked.

- He's going to see his wife who is about to give birth to their child, Yumichika answered beaming with pride for his taichou.

When Kenpachi entered the ward where Rai lay he could hear her cry out in pain and when he tried to break into the room Isane-fukutaichou stopped him.

- Let me get in, he growled, she's dieing!

- She's just fine, Zaraki-taichou. Just wait a little while longer and you can see her.

Kenpachi sat down and anxiously waited. This wasn't his area at all and he'd have to trust Isane, no matter how hard it was. 20 minutes later he was showed into the room. Rai lay pale, but alive and by her breast lay a small bundle with a black tuft of hair sticking up.

- Ken-chan, she said with a voice weak from fatigue, we got a little boy.

Kenpachi could not speak. He felt overwhealmed. He sat down beside the bed. He finally spoke.

- He has your eyes.

Yumichika, Rangiku, Byakuya and a heap of other people tried to peak into the room through the small windows. They saw a weeping Kenpachi embracing his wife and their newborn son. They had never seen him so happy before. Life was indeed splendid.

The 3 of them stood on the graveyard watching the small tombstone. Yachiru was crying loudly, Rai was quietly sobbing and tears were streaming down Kenpachi's face blending with the rain that soaked them. Their son, Katsurou, had been dead for 2 weeks and it was his grave they were visting. He had died by an unknown illness that even Unohana-san could not cure. Neither Rai nor Kenpachi had ever feared death before, but now it had taken their most precious, it had taken their lives. Life and death was indeed unfair.

- Tell me, Rai said, tell me there is a reason to go on.

- There is, Kenpachi answered, I just can't find anyone now.

The few months the four of them had had together had been the best in their lives and they could not understand what they had done to deserve this grief and despair. Everyone had had their time giving their condoleances and today it seemed to be Yamamoto-sotaichous turn, since he came walking up the hill in the pouring rain and blasting wind.

- Zaraki-taichous, Kusajishi-fukutaichou, I'm deeply sorry for your loss, his old voice sounded.

They looked wearily at him. Words could not heal them, they could not bring Katsurou back.

- I know it's hard for you in this time of loss, he continued, but remember. There are still people here who need you. The whole of Soul Society needs you.

As Yamamoto-sotaichou walked away from them the rainclouds broke and a single ray of light shone down on the gravestone and Rai decided that she would atleast try. Try to keep on living. For Katsurou's sake. She knew the hole his death had left in her soul would and could not be filled. But Kenpachi needed her. The 11th squad needed her as their taichou and even the whole Gotei 13 needed her. But most of all, Yachiru needed her and that was a need she could not set aside. After all, they were alive.


End file.
